Mandarin Style Orange Chicken Bowl

It’s hard to be a student in America without hearing about Trader Joe’ legendary orange chicken. The ever-present reddish-orange bag haunts freezers in college towns from coast to coast, offering the simple promise of a cheap and easy sugary wonderland of the American-Chinese staple. This is not a review of that. This is a review of the slimmed-down, single serving packaged bowl featuring Captain Joe’s chicken atop a bed of rice. Let’s dig in.

Taste – 5/7

My first impression was only so-so. Under a warm light, the bowl looks underwhelming – the colors don’t pop, and the meal gives an impression of fragility, a house of cards ready to fall over the second a spoon contacts its surface. Presentation is not a criteria I grade upon but, more often than not, it can be a valuable leading indicator of your experience. In this case, thankfully, the bowl bucked the trend. Spooning the rice and my first morsel of chicken together, I was struck by the fullness of the flavor and the sharp acidity that accompanied the sweetness. Rather than biting into a game of Candy Land, the sugar was well tempered by the salt and citric notes. I’ll note the spatial and temporal separation of these flavors, with the sweetness being the first to the scene. Crashing into the front of my mouth, it threatens to overwhelm the balance, but is soon countered by a simultaneous spread of salt and umami from the sides, with an acidic lance bursting through to the back of the tongue. The small size ensured I didn’t tire of the experience.

If a complaint is to be had. it must be with the outer shell of the chicken. All give and no crisp makes for a homogeneous chewing experience and robs you of the sweet satisfactory *crunch* expected of a well-fried morsel of chicken. The interior, in contrast, is nice and spongy, soaking up the sauce and seasonings it was both cooked in, and now drenched in, and returning it with interest upon your taste buds. In fact, the interior of the chicken is so absorbent, and so incapacitated by the mediocre outer shell, that I took to breaking up even the smallest pieces of chicken to expose the flavor-packed core. With that minor change, the initial burst of flavor in each bite was magnified and the underlying chicken flavor more so allowed to poke through the rich sauce.

The chicken was only half the meal so we’ll now turn our attention to the crucial accompaniments. The rice was weakly fried and would struggled to stand on its own merits yet served as an admirable bed to absorb some of the excessive flavor tones of the sauce and chicken that rested upon it. With good grain-grain adherence and starchiness, the bed of rice between the tongue and center of flavor tempered the release of the sweetness, spreading the flavor out over time. The included mixed frozen vegetables were nothing to write home about and did not significantly contribute to the taste.

Convenience – 5/7

The score is a reflection of the two levels of convolution between the finished bowl and I. The 4-5 minute heating time is squarely average and should earn the meal a rating of 6/7, yet the separate step for the sauce incurs a harsh 1-point penalty, bordering on 1.5.

Prior to heating the bowl, the sauce packet must be removed and warmed in or under hot water for a further 2-3 minutes. This can, of course, be done concurrently with the microwaving but the added inconvenience is noteworthy. Human error is also given the opportunity to creep in during sauce distribution, where insufficient spreading of the thawed sauce leads to dry and overly moist portions of the bowl itself.

Nutrition – 4/7

At 540 calories per bowl, this is squarely a single serving meal, perhaps even falling short of that based on personal appetite. Within that constraint however, it conforms to nutritional guidelines quite well. Not being overly hungry at the time of consumption, the bowl’s small size understated it’s filling potential and left me sated. The sodium level, always a concern in the field, was 680 mg (30% of the USDA allotment, 45% of the AHA allowance) – which is a level I consider wholly acceptable. The 90 mg of cholesterol is likewise in step at 30% of the daily allowance, even it is elevated beyond personal preference. The protein comes in at 28 grams, following just short of my ideal 30 grams per 500 calories yet detracting points for such a near miss feels like nitpicking on an otherwise well-rounded meal. Other highlights of the label in no particular order:

• All of the listed ingredients were easily pronounceable, but this method has not been verified as a gauge of how processed an item is
• 6g of dietary fiber is 21% of the anemically low USDA requirement, yet still an improvement over its peers
• Artificial trans fats have been banned in the US since 2015, yet nutrition labels still insist on bragging about how they have 0 grams. You’re not special.

Verdict – 14/21

It’s not walking away with gold. Or silver. Or bronze for that matter. But it’s a trooper. At squarely average, or slightly above, in each category, the Orange Chicken Bowl does it’s namesake proud as a freezer first-liner. A pleasant taste, acceptable nutritional profile, and only slightly complicated prep make it suitable as a go-to on any weekday night for the tired, rushed, or simply lazy (but not too much, otherwise why would you read this) frozen meal connoisseur. It has earned a place in my freezer, and I hope you’ll find it in yours.

Thank you to the enthusiastic readers of TJFMR and the outpouring of support from my loyal fans. Stay tuned for the calamari coming next week and, as always, submit your suggestions, comments, feedback, hate mail, and amateur attempts at writing in the comment section below.