Welcome all, to TJFMR. I thought it fit to launch this blog to the fanfare of one of TJ’s more controversial offerings – its frozen Beef Shepherd’s pie. Controversial how, you ask? It’s an enigma of a meal – good, bordering even on great, macros, with a simple prep would understandably generate hype and excitement among the fitness crowd, tired as they are of unflavored rubbery chicken breast and plain brown rice. Yet, this is not their day. For what the shepherd’s flocks contain in protein, they sorely lack in taste. Let’s take a closer look
Taste – 2/7
The taste is not defined so much by what it is – but what it isn’t. Call it an indictment on my atrophied and unrefined buds, but despite my best efforts to immortalize my experience in words, I couldn’t think of a way to describe the taste that didn’t boil down to, well… sludge. It wasn’t good, it wasn’t bad – it just was. Zooming out and backtracking, fresh from the microwave, I’m presented with an off-white lumpy exterior, with gentle swells in the soft mix betraying the presence of assorted beef and vegetables within.
The aroma that rises off of it is similarly non-committal, the idea of a well-seasoned potato seems to emanate off rather than the reality of it. It’s as my spoon pierces the first layer that the reality of the meal becomes evident to me – a sea of mashed potatoes with haphazard chunks of meat, peas, carrots, and corn lying adrift.
Scholars have debated the delineating line between a soup, stew, and cereal, and that discussion is foremost in my mind as I go through the entree. The all-encompassing mashed potatoes lack substance and viscosity, a texture more reminiscent of a solidified soup in a tray than a solid consumable. With each bite, I searched and searched for a hint of flavor to describe, but all my efforts turned up lacking – every bite, just the same! A bundle of heat (from the microwave, not any intrinsic spice) was all I felt, and that too diminished quickly as what little watery consistency there was soon dissolved further into nothingness.
Only slight changes in firmness betrayed the existence of anything beside the bleached white of the potato. If there was salt, I couldn’t tell. If there was a vegetable, I couldn’t tell. Even if a chunk of beef was happened upon, I could not tell! The meat was moist, but as a cup of warm water is moist, and lacked every hint of flavor. In mouth, it was stringy and often required several chews to fully separate, all the while frustratingly denying me the hint of savoriness I vainly hoped for. I was Captain Ahab, and in this landscape of monotonous potato, I had met my white whale.
The meal was a somber affair. Whether a bite was my first, my last, or the of the gradient between, I can’t say. The warmth did comfort me on a rather cold night. Near the end of the meal, I cracked under and attempted to inject life back into this meal with my own arsenal of spices and sauces. Garlic. Onion. Pepper. Paprika. Cholula (long ago, the four elements….). But it was for naught, as my toppings, rather than blending and enflavoring the underlying dish, merely sat on top and give an opening salvo to my tongue before the shepherd’s melancholy set in.
Convenience – 4.5/7
Two cooking methods are available for the shepherd’s pie – 30 to 35 minutes in the oven or 10-11 minutes in the microwave. While I typically prefer the oven-baked method, a shortage of time necessitated a microwave preparation for this review. Ten minutes is far above average for a microwavable meal, and the 1-minute “let stand” period is wholly inadequate for bringing it down to a mouth-safe temperature, bringing the overall “cook time” closer to 14 minutes – decidedly below average for a microwavable meal. It does, however, compare favorably to a meal requiring stove-top preparation due to the minimal effort involved.
Nutrition – 5/7
And here comes the bread and butter of Trader Joe’s Beef Shepherd Pie. Put aside your tastebuds and your sense of time, since the humble tray comes packing on the macro-end. The box specifies 2 servings but realistically, half a tray would be far too underwhelming a meal for anyone. As such, I’ll be considering the tray in its entirety. Clocking in, at 310 calories with an astounding 32 grams of protein, 38 grams of net carbs, and 6 grams of fat (of which 3 are saturated), it offers a tantalizing low-calorie and high-protein option for the gym rats out there. The 80mg of cholesterol are an acceptable 26% of your recommended daily intake, leaving the only weak point as the 1160mg of cholesterol as 48% of your FDA recommended intake (77% if you use the lower AHA-recommended intake!). That salt level, combined with the small amount of frozen vegetables and subpar fiber content (4mg), played an oversized role in dragging down the score of an otherwise fantasy for the protein-focused crowd. Despite that, the sodium is somehow still reasonable compared to other items that will be reviewed on this blog, and a pairing of vegetables on the side could help to round out this meal nutritionally.
Verdict – 11.5/21
Aaaand we’re off to a rousing start here at TJFMR. While it offered middling convenience, and a taste that left me desiring, quite literally, anything at all, the beef shepherd’s pie will keep a soft spot in my heart. With a score barely topping 50%, it’s far from the good captain’s best creation. But, with a pinch of apathy, and a whole lot of hot sauce, it has its place for the tired, the well-exercised, taste-agnostic, and those without a family history of hypertension.
Thank you for reading the first entry, of hopefully many, on TJFMR, and be sure to let me know what you think, and what else you’d like to see in the future.